Educated Singles Over 50
Dating over 50 has many advantages over dating at younger age. Older singles have the life experience to draw from that can streamline their approach to the dating scene; something younger people just don’t have.
Here are some things that give older daters an edge over those newer to the game, and some tips daters of all ages can benefit from:
Singles over 50 should be encouraged by studies which have found that finding romance can improve one’s overall quality of life both physically and psychologically. Not only can a healthy sex life increase happiness levels, decrease stress and provide a decent workout but beyond the physical there are numerous other benefits. At the editorial board of The Educated Singles Club, we think it is totally unfair. We want to do something about it. We want to celebrate 50 entrepreneurs over 50 years old. And we want you to help us find them, nominate them and tell their story. We Have been discussing what the criteria should be for becoming nominated. The criteria are. Singles over 50 should be encouraged by studies which have found that finding romance can improve one’s overall quality of life both physically and psychologically. Not only can a healthy sex life increase happiness levels, decrease stress and provide a decent workout but beyond the physical there are numerous other benefits.
1. They take care of their bodies and minds.
Dating at any age requires attraction. “Attraction is pretty broadly defined and includes looks and personality, and successful daters over 50 take care of themselves, physically and mentally,” says relationship expert, David Bennett.
2. They’re fun.
Just because you get older doesn’t mean you have to become stale and boring, or only date to look for something serious. Quite the opposite! Many singles in their 50s say they’re enjoying life more now than in their 20s.
3. They’re smart.
Singles in their 50s have learned lessons about dating and relationships over the years, and know how to proceed and what to avoid. Rather than letting past setbacks and mistakes ruin them, they’ve learned from them, says Bennett.
4. They don’t abandon their friends.
“Older daters realize the importance of having friends and keeping them around, even when you’re in a relationship or dating,” says Bennett. Younger daters can often let friendships suffer because they’re focusing so much on one person. Almost everyone later regrets this, but it takes a more mature dater to know better.
5. They take it slow.
ingles in their 50s don’t rush to desperately find the one. Instead, they live life, meet a lot of people, and end up happier than if they hurriedly commit to someone who isn’t good for them.
6. They have deal-breakers.
Whether it’s a smoker/non-smoker, a person with young kids, or even the kind of relationship they want, singles in their 50s have a much better idea of what just won’t work for them.
7. They’re more likely to be honest.
You’re much more likely to see daters in their 50s say they never want marriage or that they’re bad with money and they know it. After you’ve dated for a bit, you realize you don’t need to play games or pretend to be someone your not.
8. They’ve broken their bad habits.
Usually by the time people are in their 50s, they’ve stopped making their signature dating mistakes. This type of mistake is different for everyone—maybe they were too focused on physical attraction, only wanted to be with someone dominant or submissive, or sought out people who were just like them. “Younger people still don’t get it yet,” says Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and relationship expert. “They make the same dating mistake over and over. By the time you are 50 and over, you have broken your bad dating habits, and this is half the battle.”
9. They know what they like and are more in touch with their needs.
“Sure, you’re giving so you will do what your date likes to do, but in general, you know how to find someone that is more compatible that can be more of a companion rather than picking someone you like but have nothing in common with,” says Trombetti.
10. It’s easier to catch and release.
Daters in their 50s can attract someone, go on a few dates, and cut it off if the date isn’t a good match. “It prevents you from, once again, spending too much time with the wrong person, like you did earlier in life,” says Trombetti.
11. They’re more confident.
Young people might have youth on their side, but singles over 50 have confidence that comes with wisdom. It’s so much more alluring than that needy 20 something you used to be.
12. Time is actually on our side.
“You’ve been married already and have kids, so there’s no rush to meet someone and get married in order o start a family. Been there and done that,” says Trombetti. Singles in their 50s are also less encumbered now that their children are older, so there’s more time to focus on themselves.
13. They aren’t afraid of getting hurt.
As we age, we come to understand that most upsets in life are survivable. “We’ve lived through discomfort, heartbreak, and downright devastation,” says Dr. Christine Carpenter, a psychologist and dating coach. “With a hefty reserve of resilience inside them, older daters are less fearful of getting hurt,”
14. They don’t settle.
Chances are daters over 50 have spent some time in their dating life hoping for the “almost good enough” relationship to turn into the “great” relationship they’ve always wanted… and have learned the hard way that that’s always a bad idea. “They know it doesn’t work this way,” says Carpenter. “They know what they want, they will ask for it, and if it isn’t forthcoming they will move on.”
15. They know how to communicate.
Daters over 50 don’t waste time playing guessing games. “If they’re curious about how someone is feeling or where something is headed they will be more likely to just check it out rather than trying to read the tea leaves,” says Carpenter.
Educated Singles Over 50
16. They focus more on the person within.
Older daters know that the character of the people involved will determine whether a relationship will be a success, not their outward appearances, says Dr. Tina Tessina, aka ‘Dr. Romance’ and author of Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today .
Educated Singles Over 505
17. They’re not obsessed with finding love.
Singles in their 50s, who are working or have lots of other things going on, often regard their careers as primary, and relationships secondary. “They want companionship, but they don’t necessarily want their relationship to be all-consuming,” says Tessina.
18. They recognize that life is too short to worry about the little things.
“If the person you’re dating has a big nose or an annoying laugh, it just isn’t that big a deal, certainly not enough to throw away a good relationship over,” explains Raffi Bilek, a couples counselor. “Being a little older and more mature helps you realize that.”
19. They don’t get worked up over dates that didn’t work out.
So you met someone a few times and they didn’t like you that much? No worries, not everyone in the world has to like you. 50-something singles get this.
20. They know themselves well.
“Knowing yourself is a crucial part of knowing who you want to be in a relationship with. If you’ve spent your years wisely, then by the time you’re in your silver years you’ve hopefully got a better sense of who you really are than when you were 20,” says Bilek.
21. They know what makes a relationship last.
“It’s not the flowers and special outings, but rather the listening, the empathy, and the small moments that count,” says Bilek.
22. They don’t confuse infatuation with love.
Older daters understand those first few months or weeks where both people are acting on their best behavior is all part of the infatuation phase. “Younger and less experienced daters often believe they’ve found their soulmate at this point,” says Kevin Darné, author of My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany). “It takes time to truly get to know someone.”
23. They let go of fairytales and other unrealistic expectations.
Singles in their 50s have already had the big wedding and the divorce, or if they haven’t experienced it themselves they’ve seen it happen enough times to have a more realistic view of relationships. “They’ve traded in the dream of Prince Charming and the Princess living happily ever after under sunny blue skies and rainbows,” says Darné.
24. They communicate and ask for what they want.
“Younger daters more likely to stress out over dates and try to ‘figure out’ what the other person is thinking,” says Darné. “They may opt to drop hints rather than asking directly for what they want or worse yet they expect their partner to read their mind.”
Dating over 50 comes with a lot of benefits that only a few life lessons and experiences can bring. Overall, when you know yourself better you tend to know what you’re looking for too. So take a bit advice from those who’ve been there and done that.
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Educated Single Only
People usually don’t blink an eye over single men who are over 50. In fact, George Clooney—known as an eternal bachelor before falling in love with Amal— was in his early 50s when he tied the knot. But, there are plenty of reasons why a man in his 50s may be on his own. It’s possible he went through a divorce, separation, or the unfortunate death of a spouse. So, before you judge a man by his age, you should also look at the big picture.
If you’re dating single men over 50, there are a few common traits it helps to know about:
They’ll be stuck in their ways.
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” before. Men over 50 aren’t old dogs, but they can be harder to change. And that’s part of why you love them! They know who they are, what they want, and don’t have any problem telling you. But that can be good and bad. It’s great to have a guy who’s confident in himself, but you still want someone who can compromise and meet you halfway. If the man you’re with has been a smoker for the past 20 years, even a brand new romance with you probably won’t change that. And if he’s used to going to bed at 10:00 p.m. every night, you shouldn’t expect him to stay out until 11:00 instead. Respect that he knows his own mind, but don’t give him a pass on the things that are important to you.
They won’t be into mind games.
You won’t have to worry about whether or a man over 50 likes you—he’ll let you know. There are always a few outliers, but by the time a man reaches the age of 50, he’s over the mind games and done playing coy. He just wants to quickly know if he should start forming an emotional attachment to you. If he’s the type to date around, he’ll be more likely to let you know that too. Sure, if he’s only looking for something casual it might not be what you want, but you’ll at least appreciate his honesty and be able to focus your time on energy on someone else who can give you what you want.
In fact, their way of flirting may be a little old-fashioned.
Men in their 50s are all young enough that they know how basic computers and smartphones work. But, it doesn’t mean they necessarily love them. A guy in his 50s will be more likely to send a bouquet of flowers than a guy in his 20s and he may be more apt to pick you up or open your doors. Thus, their technique to win your heart will be a little classier.
Older men value intelligence.
There’s nothing better than a smart woman—everyone can agree on that. But, older single men appreciate intellect even more. The online dating site Zoosk even found that while describing what they want in a woman, men increasingly mention intelligence the older they get. Older men won’t be turned off by an educated partner, and even value the fact that they’ll be challenged on occasion. They also like the fact that intelligence means their future partner likely has a career and is capable of taking care of herself financially if necessary.
They also don’t like unnecessary baggage.
Everyone has something—when you’re in your 50s, both your romantic and family history may read more like a soap opera. But men in their 50s and beyond aren’t into gossip. They don’t want to be involved in a fight with an ex-husband or hear their partner talk negatively about their feud with their sister for hours on end. Really, they just want to keep things simple and easygoing.
They really love to be appreciated.
Men, in general, like to be appreciated—just like women, they need to feel valued and important. The truth is, you should always tell someone when they go above and beyond to help you with something. But for older men, it’s almost vital to show them that you’ve noticed something nice or helpful they did.
They often have a hard time admitting they aren’t right about something.
Many men feel as if they know all there is to know, and they’re terribly mistaken. The world is filled with teachable moments, and it’s possible to truly learn something new every day. Men over 50 like to believe they’re always right. It doesn’t matter if it’s over a historical fact or when, exactly, the cafe up the street opens. Try to have a sense of humor about all of it, and don’t be afraid to challenge the man you’re with. Chances are, you may think you know everything too. Part of a relationship is challenging each other, just make sure you do it about things that counts. If you’re always countering everything he says with sentences that start with, “Well, actually…” you may want to tone it back a bit.
They often have big hearts.
If they’re fathers, they’ve gained a new appreciation for people in general. If they lost a wife, they understand how limited time really is. And if they’ve just spent their years observing the world, they know the true importance of kindness and generosity. Men over 50 still have years before they fall into the “grumpy old man” category. Perhaps with your influence, they’ll never have to reach that stage.
Single men over 50 have their own set of challenges, but if you’re interested in dating or maintaining a good friendship with someone who fits the bill, it’ll likely be one of the most genuine connections you’ll have.
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Educated Singles Over 65
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